Mike Asks WHAT THE HECK? about Television

CONAN...WE WILL MISS THEE...REALLY WE WILL!

Conan has left the building and some people have expressed a "hurrah" for this fact. Some people just didn't get Conan's humor. We'll call these people..."old." Conan's humor wasn't crass, it wasn't toilet, it wasn't most crap on Comedy Central. (Okay, once in a very great while it is.)

It was goofy. It was "cartoonish." It was geeky. It was dead-on at times. I heard one conservative "humorist" say what's the new thing that Conan will do next? Hopefully be funny, he said. Another columnist said Conan's fans (I'm with Coco) won't stick around for him when he comes back "somewhere" in September.

THEY WILL. I would be more worried for the "Leno Fans." Those folks are more likely to stroke out on their TV dinner trays before he comes back to the Tonight Show after the Winter Olympics. Leno will come back and DO THE EXACT SAME STUPID SHOW he did at 11:35 before and at 10pm for the past 4 months. His audience has moved on (or died). Letterman should be so happy. He does a consistently great show on a consistently consistent network that lets him continue consistently. Craig Ferguson is a genius on after him. Fallon is a joke. The Roots are an amazing band. I grew up with Kimmel's kind in the San Fernando Valley so I am sick of him...though he sometimes makes me laugh.

So in conclusion I am a sucky blog writer but I had something to say this Saturday afternoon, post Conan finale. I will miss the man that made me laugh, that made me cry (this week--thanks Adam), and who will someday bring back a sunny day to my TV later this year.

By the way, I don't watch TV. It's a fact. I watch it all on the internet. Hulu, if you must know. And the only two shows I watch are Conan and "The Dog Whisperer." I'd watch "How I Met Your Mother" but I'm so behind that at this point I'm just going to buy the entire DVD set when it finally comes out.

That show's on CBS, interestingly enough.

I love writing these from my cell!

Don't have the latest internet connected cellphone but I can write this blog through texting on my phone. Enjoy these quick little blogs being written to you from "wherever".

This is similar to my new podcasts which are Mike's PODCAST PICNIC. I am recording video podcast from "wherever" talking to all sorts of interesting folk.

Today's WHAT THE HECK??? Why doesn't everyone podcast and blog? Everyone, from what I can tell, has lots to say. Yeah, people are busy with work, kids, job, pets, etc, but just hit record while all that's going on. That would be hella interesting.

Just hit record.

My Last Blog For A While...So Lots to Cover!

Behind me and my trusty man purse is the Jersey shore. What a fun trip and beautiful day that was! I am 40 and I have never been to New York. I've heard so many stories, friends of mine who have gone, but being there was absolutely amazing.

I saw 2 movies this past week that had to do with New York City...how rare is that to find a movie about New York? Yes, just about every movie ever made takes place there. As I walked the streets it seems every corner was the set of some movie I saw. But the two movies I saw this week, "Adventureland" and "Julie and Julia," had New York figure some way into the plot line.

First off, today's WHAT THE HECK! Why do all these movie critics like "Adventureland?" (I saw it on DVD, by the way, where most people will see it.) The movie is the most boring draggy no point piece of film I have seen since "Married Life" (oh, do NOT see this movie, it will depress you and give you a headache). I'm tired of movies making pot some kind of cool thing. This isn't 1979 anymore! Seth Rogan at least stopped toking by the time he did "Funny People" (or not as much). "Adventureland" was supposed to show the 80's the way they really were. The soundtrack was supposed to be the quintessential 80's soundtrack. I heard a Cure song and one from girl band Expose. The rest sounded like it came from the 70's (Lou Reed's "Satellite of Love" wasn't being played by ANY radio station by the time the period of the movie takes place). For a MUCH better movie (that makes better use of REAL 80's songs even though it takes place in the modern day) see "(500) Days Of Summer." That movie drags a little but at least its approach is fresh.

I'll admit "Julie and Julia" drags a bit, too, but, it takes on the monumental task of tying together 3 amazing personalities: Julia Childs, Julie who tries to make all Julia's recipes, and FOOD ITSELF. Food is a character in the movie; it is an object of love. Stanley Tucci is fantastic as Julia's husband. Meryl Streep does a fantastic job portraying Julia without being a caricature. Nora Ephron directed and wrote the screenplay. She put her love of New York in it as well as the heartbreak of wanting to be a New Yorker but having to live outside of it due to economic reasons. There is other heartbreak in this movie with Julia and Paul Childs not being able to have children. This only takes part in a small sequence in the film, but there is so much in this movie that takes place in only an instant that is meant to convey so much more. The movie is over 2 hours because there is so much to cover.

Which makes me think, why do movies out today have to be about silly passe topics like pot or cgi created creatures that no one cares about? New ground needs to be covered by the film, tv, and story writers of today, not relying on outdated themes. Maybe a lot of pot is consumed in the making of these movies so they need to put it in the movie since it's an object of love.

In any case, I was so glad to spend some time in the city that has been the set for many a film. Oh, and don't listen to people that tell you New Yorker's are less than friendly. Outside of the tourist areas, I met some extremely nice natives who were more than happy to talk about the city and talk to me about my current home, Alabama. It turns out that Southerners aren't necessarily as hospitable above the Mason Dixon line. One food server told me that while New Yorkers tend to be laid back, patrons that hail from the Bible Belt tend to be quite rude and impatient.

That's another WHAT THE HECK? I looked at my Facebook under one of the photo's I uploaded from my NYC trip and someone who is very Southern wrote she wouldn't visit New York even if you dropped her in the middle using a helicopter! I wrote back she should take the subway because it's much more fun.

I think a lot of people in my current surroundings have no clue what New York, L.A., or San Francisco are like. You can blame it to the high cost of travel, but for others I think it's they just don't want to leave. They don't want to explore. Of course, I find this ridiculous since I came here from there and was very willing to explore. I've lived in the South for 2 years now, and in 11 days I will be heading back to California.

I will miss a lot about the South. There is definitely an amazing hospitality among some of the people here. The countryside is so beautiful. The BBQ is so delicious! The birds are amazing, too. I have heard so many bird songs I have not heard any where else. I won't miss the mowing and the holier than thou attitude of a lot of people here. I won't miss the rampant unchecked urban sprawl, the lack of proper community planning. I won't miss the lack of adequate restaurants (fast food abounds). But that's just about it. I liked it here while I was here (except for the job I had and the good ole boys club attitude I had to deal with which I wrote about in previous installments). Luckily, I'll still have my house here which I will rent out.

One more great thing about living here in Huntsville: the best public library anywhere! I never checked out a book, but the CD's! What a fantastic selection!

That's it for now. I'll write again after I get settled in CA which may take a while. Please leave comments and check out all my links on this page to keep track of Mike's One Minute What the Heck and Michael Matthews. Let me know what your WHAT THE HECK is so we can discuss it. Talk to you soon!

Sorry if this blog "dragged."

Mike

Music and the 80's Generation's First Big Goodbye

That's my crazy radio DJ face.




Very frightening. It's a fun job, no money in it, but for a type like me that enjoys a wide swath of music it fits me.

When I first started in radio in 1986 there were at that moment no Michael Jackson hits getting played in tight rotation on the station I interned at. That would all change when he released the first single from his "Bad" album, "I Just Can't Stop Loving You", a duet he did with Siedah Garrett. After that there were number one hits with "Bad", "The Way You Make Me Feel", "Man in the Mirror", (the next single, "Another Part of Me", from the Disneyland ride Captain Eo peaked in the top ten but not at number one) "Dirty Diana", and "Smooth Criminal."

After that I start to lose track of what went number one for him. I know he had a very intricate "live action mixed with animation" video that MTV used to play all the time called "Leave Me Alone" but that hardly got played on the radio. When his next huge hit "Black and White" came out I was working formats that didn't play him much (or didn't play his fast songs, just his ballads like "Will You Be There" and "Heal the World"). Meanwhile, his sister Janet was all over the radio and had pretty much been so since her 1985 album "Control".

Today's WHAT THE HECK? What the heck is wrong with us, with anyone, for slamming this man now at his shocking untimely death? We all know he lead a life that most of us question, but look at what will be his REAL legacy, his two amazing albums "Off the Wall" and "Thriller". Both those albums taught us how to let loose and have fun. Michael was not ashamed of his high falsetto. Eddie Murphy and others poked fun at it, but he knew he could rock like the best guitar gods in his own uncompromising way (he even enlisted a guitar god, Eddie VanHalen, to play the crazy solo on "Beat It"). Without him, I doubt we would have been so willing to open the doors for Justin Timberlake and others who sing high and dance like we wish we all could.

In the months and years to follow, we'll get the whole story on why he died so young. We'll maybe hear of even more controversies: What did he do while staying in the middle east? Why did he hit such economic hard times? What is the legacy of his children? How many plastic surgeries were ultimately involved in the expanse of his entire life and why was he so vane?

He is the first of the 80's pop generation to leave us so soon. He had such a lasting impact: He is like an Elvis or a Sinatra though there will be those who call that blasphemy. Those people have their ears in the sand and have no idea what greatness we were listening to from Michael's earliest years playing with his family to 1995 when he enjoyed his last number one hit ("You Are Not Alone" which broke records for making it to number one so quickly).

When you work in radio, especially a top 40 station, that plays the same songs over and over again, you get to know each and every note of certain songs. I am honored I got to hear every note of Michael's.

My First Entry for Mike's One Minute What the Heck

Hello, and welcome to my first blog. I have wanted to do this for soooo long, especially after the events of December 15th.

That was a Monday if you recall. Not the best day of my life. I was driving into work, driving a large over sized truck that's only purpose was to promote a radio station. Driving the roads around the Tennessee Valley is not the easiest task in such a beast, but I learned to manage it over the year that I worked for the company that in mere minutes would let me go. I should have known something was up the way two coworkers who were privy to the upcoming event scurried like cockroaches when the kitchen door opens.

I don't want to dwell on this turn of events, suffice to say that this replayed over and over again. Yes, across the US where the unemployment rate rose from 6 to 8 to 10 percent, but also at this company where soon many more employees were asked to leave. This is the state of radio. You may not listen every day to your "favorite station". You may now find yourself relying more on your ipod since it gives you much more variety than anything over the airwaves. You may have discovered podcasts, much like I did, where normal people talk about normal things--infinitely more interesting than anything heard on the dial!

My first WHAT THE HECK? WHAT THE HECK radio? You were a fantastic artistic medium for so many years. I guess I was in denial about how you really were. Not long ago you began the change of life and became the utterly desperate creature we see today. Desperate because you are clinging to life. No one cares about you. The digital age has passed your staticky carcass by! There is no need for your boring, trite, and uninteresting promotions any more. Good bye!

Thanks for reading my first blog. Other observations are on the way as well as a cartoon character I recently resurrected named "Gnat-Man"; you'll see him in future "effizodes".

Enjoy the weekend!