Behind me and my trusty man purse is the Jersey shore. What a fun trip and beautiful day that was! I am 40 and I have never been to New York. I've heard so many stories, friends of mine who have gone, but being there was absolutely amazing.
I saw 2 movies this past week that had to do with New York City...how rare is that to find a movie about New York? Yes, just about every movie ever made takes place there. As I walked the streets it seems every corner was the set of some movie I saw. But the two movies I saw this week, "Adventureland" and "Julie and Julia," had New York figure some way into the plot line.
First off, today's WHAT THE HECK! Why do all these movie critics like "Adventureland?" (I saw it on DVD, by the way, where most people will see it.) The movie is the most boring draggy no point piece of film I have seen since "Married Life" (oh, do NOT see this movie, it will depress you and give you a headache). I'm tired of movies making pot some kind of cool thing. This isn't 1979 anymore! Seth Rogan at least stopped toking by the time he did "Funny People" (or not as much). "Adventureland" was supposed to show the 80's the way they really were. The soundtrack was supposed to be the quintessential 80's soundtrack. I heard a Cure song and one from girl band Expose. The rest sounded like it came from the 70's (Lou Reed's "Satellite of Love" wasn't being played by ANY radio station by the time the period of the movie takes place). For a MUCH better movie (that makes better use of REAL 80's songs even though it takes place in the modern day) see "(500) Days Of Summer." That movie drags a little but at least its approach is fresh.
I'll admit "Julie and Julia" drags a bit, too, but, it takes on the monumental task of tying together 3 amazing personalities: Julia Childs, Julie who tries to make all Julia's recipes, and FOOD ITSELF. Food is a character in the movie; it is an object of love. Stanley Tucci is fantastic as Julia's husband. Meryl Streep does a fantastic job portraying Julia without being a caricature. Nora Ephron directed and wrote the screenplay. She put her love of New York in it as well as the heartbreak of wanting to be a New Yorker but having to live outside of it due to economic reasons. There is other heartbreak in this movie with Julia and Paul Childs not being able to have children. This only takes part in a small sequence in the film, but there is so much in this movie that takes place in only an instant that is meant to convey so much more. The movie is over 2 hours because there is so much to cover.
Which makes me think, why do movies out today have to be about silly passe topics like pot or cgi created creatures that no one cares about? New ground needs to be covered by the film, tv, and story writers of today, not relying on outdated themes. Maybe a lot of pot is consumed in the making of these movies so they need to put it in the movie since it's an object of love.
In any case, I was so glad to spend some time in the city that has been the set for many a film. Oh, and don't listen to people that tell you New Yorker's are less than friendly. Outside of the tourist areas, I met some extremely nice natives who were more than happy to talk about the city and talk to me about my current home, Alabama. It turns out that Southerners aren't necessarily as hospitable above the Mason Dixon line. One food server told me that while New Yorkers tend to be laid back, patrons that hail from the Bible Belt tend to be quite rude and impatient.
That's another WHAT THE HECK? I looked at my Facebook under one of the photo's I uploaded from my NYC trip and someone who is very Southern wrote she wouldn't visit New York even if you dropped her in the middle using a helicopter! I wrote back she should take the subway because it's much more fun.
I think a lot of people in my current surroundings have no clue what New York, L.A., or San Francisco are like. You can blame it to the high cost of travel, but for others I think it's they just don't want to leave. They don't want to explore. Of course, I find this ridiculous since I came here from there and was very willing to explore. I've lived in the South for 2 years now, and in 11 days I will be heading back to California.
I will miss a lot about the South. There is definitely an amazing hospitality among some of the people here. The countryside is so beautiful. The BBQ is so delicious! The birds are amazing, too. I have heard so many bird songs I have not heard any where else. I won't miss the mowing and the holier than thou attitude of a lot of people here. I won't miss the rampant unchecked urban sprawl, the lack of proper community planning. I won't miss the lack of adequate restaurants (fast food abounds). But that's just about it. I liked it here while I was here (except for the job I had and the good ole boys club attitude I had to deal with which I wrote about in previous installments). Luckily, I'll still have my house here which I will rent out.
One more great thing about living here in Huntsville: the best public library anywhere! I never checked out a book, but the CD's! What a fantastic selection!
That's it for now. I'll write again after I get settled in CA which may take a while. Please leave comments and check out all my links on this page to keep track of Mike's One Minute What the Heck and Michael Matthews. Let me know what your WHAT THE HECK is so we can discuss it. Talk to you soon!
Sorry if this blog "dragged."
Mike
What am I doing?
Oh, in this picture, I'm eating my vegetables. Actually, this is a wall outside of a store in Huntsville called Anthropology. This picture was taken almost 2 years ago. Now the wall is brown with dead plants and soil falling out. It's a metaphor for Huntsville: Businesses open and then 1 to 2 years later are dead and falling out.
Aside from that darling hat, you might be wondering a couple things: First, Mike doesn't get enough fiber? Also, Huntsville has an Anthropology? Isn't that a store found in BIG sophisticated cities like New York and San Francisco?
Yes! That's what I thought, too! It opened shortly after I arrived here, so I was feeling optimistic about picking Huntsville to live in: Even though the ACTUAL job was located 45 miles to the west in Athens, yet I was told this was a Huntville job (and this was supposed to be a Huntsville radio station servicing Huntsville--from 45 miles away?!?).
Let's just say a LOT of false pretenses came into play when I took this job. My wife and I did all the research we could, and some of it was right: Houses ARE less expensive. It is VERY humid. There are LOTS and LOTS of engineers and phd's here. However, my general manager NEGLECTED to fill me in about important logistical truths: That the transmitter for the radio station DIDN'T EVEN EXIST yet. That I would be required to drive a HUGE TRUCK all over the territory sometimes covering hundreds of miles in ONE day (Huntsville and its surrounding cities are completely spread out). That I would have virtually NO SAY in who I could hire for my staff. That he, the general manager who should be focused on selling advertising, dictated to me how the station should sound even telling me HOW I SHOULD SOUND.
Today's one minute WHAT THE HECK?...What Am I Doing?
I am GETTING THE HECK OUT OF HERE! And by "heck" I definitely mean HELL!
This town is far too hot, too conservative, and too interested in church for me to stay here. A study of people who voted for Obama found that 67 percent said they don't go to church. That compares to 64 percent who voted for Bush in 2004 who said they went to church MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK! I guarantee that ENTIRE 64 percent came from Alabama, home of the biggest gaudiest churches in the south...or maybe not, since I hear Texas wins that award. And I have done some church research: I found people who go are either looking for a love interest or are frustrated American Idol wannabees who want to go to a "rock concert" every Sunday. Then there are those who are replacing a crutch: drugs, drinking, smoking. Or there are those trying to bury their homosexual feelings: If I go to church with my (husband/wife) and am seen in public with them and my kids then I MUST BE HETERO! And Jesus said homosexuality is an abomination (that verse still missing from the original text).
And people love their Rick and Bubba morning radio show here (see one of the previous blogs for a full explanation of their show). And I am so sick of the word "Bubba." Yes, Alabamans are proud of this word because they invented it, but it's just a variation on the word "Baby." Just say "baby" over and over again real fast until it devolves into "bubba." Very innovative, AL! And I am tired of all the fast food and no nice bike paths and no public transportation and the spoiled unruly kids and all the stupid red t-shirts promoting the state's college football team and the never ending hype of college football and the good ole boys club and the golfing and the non-descript southern accent that sounds like a mix of Texas and Georgia and the long lines to new restaurants that are owned by national chains and the blank stare you get when you tell people you're moving back to California "AND I CAN'T FREAKIN' WAIT!!!"
I know somewhere someone is reading this and saying, "Don't let the AL door hit you on the way out!" Well, thank you. I tried loving your state. I tried loving your relaxed cholesterol heavy way of life. I tried getting into saying roll tide or war eagle and I tried liking your culture. BUT ALL I GOT WAS A PINK SLIP IN RETURN! All I got was HIGH CHOLESTEROL! All I got was BUG BITES BUG BITES BUG BITES! And all I got was extremely jaded.
I tried. When I get back to the state of the continuous sunshine and traffic jams, and am finally able to wear shorts without gallons of Off sprayed on them, I will tell folks the south is a wonderful place to live. And I'll say move there now!
And when they leave I'll think about how they're setting out upon a fantastic adventure...and how I'll be able to get their parking spot.
I am going to get around to doing a podcast at michaelmatthews.podomatic.com, but first I must blog.
My WHAT THE HECK?!? My BACK! This week I was hit with a pain right in that small back region. I think part of the cause was lifting something rather heavy in the garage without using my legs and the growing stress upon the realization that my wife and I are REALLY MOVING!It just makes sense...or it makes no sense. We are moving back to a state whose houses are now at a price we haven't seen in years, yet we're leaving a state and a city that is the best area to find a job according to a new study. We've got a real estate agent now, so we've jumped out of the plane, now we've got to pull the rip chord.
Maybe that's a little dramatic. We could take the house off the market and stay if we want. But do we? Yeah, jobs are abundant here in Huntsville, Alabama, but who enjoys working for a "good ol' boys" club? Maybe you like it: the smoking cigars on a golf course while cheering Cheney on finally making his PUNXSUTAWNEY GROUND HOG MOMENT to try to prove he was a good dad to us after all. "Everything I did, I DID IT FOR YOU! You have NO IDEA WHAT I WENT THROUGH to keep this country safe! You may be all smitten with this new president guy, BUT HE HAS NO RIGHT TO CRITICIZE WHAT I DID TO KEEP YOU SAFE! Now I'm going back underground to breathe my secret life-extending gas and I'll come back out when you REALIZE WHAT A GOD I AM!"
It'll be nice to leave an area that is so gaga over such a ridiculous Rush-Sean-wannabe radio show as "Rick and Bubba." In California they have that show absolutely NO WHERE! I will tell people about it there and they will laugh at me! Really? They have a show like that? Well I guess that's the South for you! I moved to this part of the country with AN OPEN MIND. I thought people here weren't the stereotype. I was willing and ready to be proven wrong! Yep, I was wrong.Maybe the pain in my back is a little voodoo on me for being negative about all this. But at this point, I'm no longer negative. I'm feeling more positive every day.Now I positively need some Motrin.
Hello, and welcome to my first blog. I have wanted to do this for soooo long, especially after the events of December 15th.That was a Monday if you recall. Not the best day of my life. I was driving into work, driving a large over sized truck that's only purpose was to promote a radio station. Driving the roads around the Tennessee Valley is not the easiest task in such a beast, but I learned to manage it over the year that I worked for the company that in mere minutes would let me go. I should have known something was up the way two coworkers who were privy to the upcoming event scurried like cockroaches when the kitchen door opens.I don't want to dwell on this turn of events, suffice to say that this replayed over and over again. Yes, across the US where the unemployment rate rose from 6 to 8 to 10 percent, but also at this company where soon many more employees were asked to leave. This is the state of radio. You may not listen every day to your "favorite station". You may now find yourself relying more on your ipod since it gives you much more variety than anything over the airwaves. You may have discovered podcasts, much like I did, where normal people talk about normal things--infinitely more interesting than anything heard on the dial!My first WHAT THE HECK? WHAT THE HECK radio? You were a fantastic artistic medium for so many years. I guess I was in denial about how you really were. Not long ago you began the change of life and became the utterly desperate creature we see today. Desperate because you are clinging to life. No one cares about you. The digital age has passed your staticky carcass by! There is no need for your boring, trite, and uninteresting promotions any more. Good bye!Thanks for reading my first blog. Other observations are on the way as well as a cartoon character I recently resurrected named "Gnat-Man"; you'll see him in future "effizodes".Enjoy the weekend!
