HERE'S THE PRE-CHRISTMAS EFFIZODE 14 OF "THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH!" PEACE ON
EARTH! GOODWILL AND SUCH.

Hello this is Mike Matthews hopping on the french fry oil powered bus that
takes me to THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH where this week on our half hour show
we'll find out why Hot Tamales might be fun to eat but lousy to work for,
why facebook is cashing in your privacy, and what the worst diets were for
2010.

That and we'll hear music from Gregaldur, Music For Your Plants, The
Re-Stoned, and Krestovsky.

I have been noticing a lot of men on TV and in public seem to be coloring
their hair. I have no hair, so I'm really not one to talk, but I think that
men that color their hair LOOK ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!!! Even Reagan finally
let it go. You can get away with it from about 40 to 47 and THEN WE CAN
CALL YOU OUT!!! So just put the dye away. And the toupees and the hair
weaves (I'm talking to you Jeremy Piven!).

In this show we also cover what a bear it is to get all those gifts for
everybody! For one person I literally searched online for hours. It
doesn't seem that brick and mortar stores are going any where any time soon
since people in the end need to go into a physical place to get gift
inspiration (though they then probably go home and purchase it online).

Listen to my latest show by clicking here...

http://ping.fm/3NaxK

And you can subscribe to the last three shows on iTunes at
http://ping.fm/mfu7C

Enjoy your last days up to Christmas! And when you laugh, right now it's
okay to throw in a couple "ho ho ho's."

WHEN YOU GET A COFFEE WHILE OUT SHOPPING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON BEWARE OF
OVER-FOAMING!

Being male and not one to enjoy going out shopping, I discovered something
today I never knew. I did a nice husband favor and went to get my wife
something called a Peppermint, White Chocolate Latte. She told me before I
went out to retrieve this sinful, seasonal drink to say "NO FOAM!" while
ordering.

Off to the horrible corporate coffee chain I went! I even took my dog with
me! He enjoys this time of year when people scurry around wearing fuzzy red
caps with white balls at the ends. They look like little cats on people's
heads. Those hats give me an allergic reaction similar to being around
cats.

I went inside and found a huge line almost out the door. I have now gotten
to the point in my life that I've resigned myself that there are lines where
ever I go. Because of this I always bring a magazine or newspaper. Today,
however, I noticed how impatient everyone was. Both the ladies in front and
in back of me complained that "this place never has a line." That's not
what I've noticed having been there earlier this month and seeing almost the
same amount of people waiting.

When I finally got to the front I gave my order, remembering the foam part,
but I neglected to mention no foam with my drink. When I got my drink just
a few minutes later (I will say they're fast) I noticed that though my drink
was in a bigger cup than my wife's, my drink felt much lighter. My wife
explained that this corporate giant is skimping everywhere she goes.

To avoid long lines and drinks being over-foamed, maybe it's time as a
culture we really give up on the speed and convenience that this huge chain
brings. So many mom and pop's have gone out of business, the one's left
explicitly need our help. Plus, the independent coffee cafe I go to hardly
ever has a line! It's also worth remembering just cleaning out your
coffeemaker once in a while will give you a similar coffee taste to those of
the big chains.

I used to like to go to coffeehouses, even the one's run by big
corporations, because it was fun to relax in a big comfy chair and just read
a little. Now, since the big chains seem to be filled with stressed-out
patrons, it's nicer just to avoid them altogether. Of course, caffeine is
what those stressed-out people are demanding thus continuing the circle. I
go decaf. I know that makes me odd.

My dog will just have to watch people with cats on their heads somewhere
else.

NO FOOLIN'! HERE'S THE "UNLUCKY" SHOW...EFFIZODE NUMBER 13 OF "THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH!!!"

Hello, my name is Mike Matthews. That bus you hear in the background is my
bulky vehicle choice to get me to this week's half hour effizode of THE LAST
PLACE ON EARTH. We'll find out what strange physical ailment a lot of women
are getting nowadays, we'll find out what horrible poverty has hit your
favorite vacation destination, and we'll tell you what color you should NOT
pick for your car if you do not desire to be a lemming.

All that plus music from Hobo, The Rope River Blues Band, Plumtree, and
Zombie Prom Queen.

This week has been interesting for which you will hear on the show. This is
the 13th effizode of this show. The last show I did got up to sixteen and
only ended because my wife and I moved from Huntsville, Alabama, to Castro
Valley, California. Yes, we literally went from one end of the political
spectrum to the other. You could see the states getting bluer the closer we
got to our new home!

My last show was called "The Messy Desk" which you can still catch some of
the effizodes on http://ping.fm/EBKjm Interesting thing
about podomatic...as soon as you sign up for a free account every dj in the
world tries to get you to "friend" them. There was every DJ, MC, and
mixologist from every dance club sending "friend requests." I left
podomatic and went to podbean to start anew without the crazy fans.
Oh...fans.

So as we rapidly approach Christmas and New Years look back on your year and
survey what you liked and what you'd like to change. Think about what went
incredibly right and what you can do to duplicate it. Don't bother thinking
about what you did wrong, you've probably already spent too much time doing
that.

Oh, quick shout out to my friends Terri and Steve that drove my wife and I
into the city (San Francisco) to check out a monthly 80's dance club. Wow,
dancing to 80's music is so uplifting. My wife is younger and doesn't
remember the 80's so much but she loves dancing to that music. She almost
thinks of it as a more "innocent" way of dancing. We weren't quite grinding
yet in the 80's.

This week's show is a hoot and you can listen to it here...

http://ping.fm/0aLfU

And you can download the latest show off iTunes. If you're subscribing to
where you could download shows 5 through 10 go to this new site and
subscribe here...

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-last-place-on-earth/id405892551

I had to start 11 and the teens in this new itunes location. Thanks for
dealing with the inconvenience. You are too kind.

And good luck with the rest of the shopping you've got on your list. If you
don't have a list, YAYYY! You are already ahead of the rest of us!

CASUAL "SURVIVOR" VIEWER CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT HE SAW LAST NIGHT!

So Jeff Probst is the dimpled host of "Survivor" and he's been hosting and
making a ton of money (almost rivaling Ryan Seacrest's recent boon of 60
million from Clear Channel) since 2000. I am only a recent visitor to the
show. My wife and I enjoy watching it with her awesome Aunt Susie and Uncle
Tom.

Well last night Jeff looked like someone had insulted him in the highest
order. Someone insulted his show. Two of the younger female contestants
(this season billed as old versus young) announced early in the show they
were quitting. After one challenge (usually the show has two) the girls
told Jeff in person who then proceeded to barrage them with a series of
"you're quitters" comments concluding with telling them they had the day to
think about their decisions but their final announcement would have to be
tonight during tribal council.

The whole point of the tribal council is to have a big court hearing where
Jeff stirs the pot and gets the contestants to accuse and defend each other
so that they then can vote and decide which one needs to leave. This
council, however, was Jeff continuing his tirade against the two contestants
and getting the other players to yell at them as well. You either felt
completely sorry for the two or were equally angry at them for quitting.

The whole structure of last night's show made me think that Jeff might be
tired of own show. It's paying him well, but now he's seeing the players
aren't the same type of driven people he's seen in the past. He said as
much during his barrage of scorn. Also, the show last night featured a
shameless, SHAMELESS plug for the new Jack Black movie. Not only did they
STOP THE SHOW to show a commercial for it, but the players were then asked
to talk about how great it was. Jeff asked them what they thought and the
contestants elicited such praise that Siskel and Ebert would never endorse.
It would have been great if after Jeff asked how the movie was the people
said, "It was okay. Looked a little contrived."

Reality shows are now almost completely infomericals. Last night was
definitely a testimony to that from one of tv's biggest shows.

Are any of you going to stand for that? Or is time to quit "Survivor" and
all these staged reality programs?